The moving cat sheds, and, having shed, moves on.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Strange Little Girls 

Another covers album! Hurrah! This time, it's Tori Amos and her Strange Little Girls record. The angle was that all the songs are about women, but written by men. She's taking the song and doing it from a female perspective, allegedly. You'd think that would require a bit of re-writing: prime example is her version of Eminem's '97 Bonnie & Clyde (no, really!), which contains references about and by the singer to "daddy" and "husband". It's a little odd to hear some of the lines coming out of a female mouth, but it works. She does a good version of the song - not a rap in sight (thankfully). Also on here is, as one might expect, Strange Little Girl, originally by The Stranglers, Depeche Mode's Enjoy The Silence, 10cc's I'm Not In Love and The Boomtown Rats' I Don't Like Mondays. The highlights, though, are Heart Of Gold, originally by Neil Young, and Tori's take on The Beatles' Happiness Is A Warm Gun. I could go into detail about how fine it all is, but I won't. It's not actually all fine - like most Tori Amos albums, it's too long and too padded - but it's a decent listen. Just not one I put on very often.
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Hi honey I'm home! 

Phew, that was a long holiday. Not so much a holiday, more like... captivation. Yes, blogfans, that's right! I was kidnapped shortly after making my last post here and I was taken away, having been bundled blindfolded into the back of a car, to a mysterious place far far far away.

I woke up in a dark room that smelt of mildew and vomit. It wasn't my vomit - it was lunch. It was soon my vomit, though. There was a tiny crack of light coming into the room - but from where? A thorough search of nearly sixteen seconds revealed that there was, in fact, a tiny window set high in the wall. I couldn't reach it, but it was my only escape route - the door had been bricked up, on the inside. My captors were clearly either very clever or very stupid. They were nowhere to be seen. How would I scale the wall? How would I get through the window and to freedom? I pondered the problem for a few days, and then it came to me: I could use the ladder leaning up against the wall. It took a week to summon up the courage to climb the ladder, but I did it! I was free! But where was I?

I was in the rainforest in Mexico. I had in fact been kept prisoner in an Aztec temple. How very bothersome, I thought, and how very like a Bond-style archvillain. I guessed that the archvillain would be hiding out somewhere nearby in his high-tech super-lair, stroking a white Persian cat with his bejewelled glove. I could, I considered, pay him a visit. I decided not to and instead got on the train. Who would have thought there would be a regular train serving an old abandoned Aztec temple in the middle of nowhere? Most fortuitous. Before I knew it (I'd passed out, see) I was on the plane heading back home. Hurrah! But my adventure wasn't over yet - not by a long shot.

Upon getting home, I really had to fight to open the front door - two months' worth of mail and free newspapers can really pile up. I also had to pay off the milkman, and set about drinking all the milk that had been left on the doorstep. Some of it had turned to cheese, so I had some nice sandwiches too. But! No tomatoes! So I had to go to the shop and buy some. Then I had some really nice sandwiches. Anyway, I finally made it back to the computer, and here I am.

That's why I haven't done any posts here for two months. Honest.
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